The dwarves have it easy.

As many of you have taken the joy of pointing out (repeatedly and annoyingly) I am very tall. 6 foot 5 inches to be precise, every time I meet someone new, this is the first thing they notice.

Trust me, you wouldn't. And here's why. As a result of my large height and build, it means I have large sizes in all things: t shirts, trousers, shoes and even rings, to the point where it is almost impossible to walk into a shop and buy an item of clothing, like any normal person.

Let's take for example, shoes. I take a uk size 15 shoe (yes 15) this means when I walk into a shop and ask whether they have a shoe in my size, I am met with a slack jaw, gormless expression and an absent: "what?" this means I must go to the Internet, where even there, choice is limited, hence why I only own one pair of shoes, and one pair of trainers. However Johnny dwarf can walk into any show he wants and purchase clothing or shoes, thank to the miracle that is the kid's section (or equality as the government call it) well where is equality for the tall? Where is the section for us giants?

The most recent case of this is when I tried to purchase a ring for myself recently, again I take a large size (x or y for those keeping track) and even though it says in the brochure: 'available in sizes r-z' they didn't have my size, as usual.

Come With Me, and Together We'll Save the Great British Pub. (And the Economy)

As many people know, I don't smoke. And unless some deranged killer puts my entire family on a guillotine and threatens them with death unless I smoke a Lambert and Butler, I never will be.

This being said, I completely oppose our smoking ban, which for some reason, doesn't include the pub in the House of Commons, one rule for us, another for them. It is the height of governmental stupidity of men in anoraks and high-vis jackets churning out health and safety rules quicker than the banks lose our money, telling us how to live our lives and what to do.

And this dictated decree is killing one of Britain's proudest and most affluant culture's: The Great British Pub. Think about it, before the smoking ban, there was literally a pub on every corner, making our ecomony millions, and keeping us above water basically. But as soon as our government detected another way of spoiling peoples fun, here we are now in 2012, 4 years after the ban came into order, and 100 pubs are closing every week, and the country has no money.

Now, I'm not the brightest fork in the spanner drawer, but even I can tell you that banning something in a public area which makes you millions, perhaps even billions every year, is stupid. Then I would give you a pound and send you down the shops to buy sweets, because you'd have to be a child to suggest it in the first place.

Sort it out, please, and all of a sudden Britain will have more money, it's that easy.