Being of school age, I often find myself agreeing with these uptight, Daily Mail reading types about 'kids today'. I see examples of behavior which would have never happened back in t'day.
For intstance, now students swear at teachers regularly, and the teachers can do nothing but send them to a different room where they swear at more teachers. Now older people will blame the abolishment of corporal punishment, but I have come up with a better, and less painful conclusion.
Things in schools went downhill because tthey stopped serving proper school dinners.
Now I accept that veg is good for you, but not until you are frail and in your 60's do you actually need veg. Man cannot live on veg, I don't care what Vegatablists say. Man needs a good steak down his throat, or else you look as though your Bob Geldof's best mate.
But, it seems as though desserts have been completely abolished, Apple Sponge? Pear Bake? Bollocks to that, go get me Rhubarb Crumble with lots of full fat custard. Until then go forth and multiply with that bloody toxic waste you serve.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Thursday, 13 January 2011
An In-Sight Into Middle Age? Hmmm..
Having two middle aged parents gives a unique and far to early veiw into the higher ages, and let me tell you this its a rough road of telephones, hair loss and goodbyes.
My Mother, whose age is a number unkown to humans, seems to be obbsessed with ringing people, over every little thing, like for example, last week my mum needed to lend some milk, now we live near an auntie of mine, in fact I say near, let's just say if we shout she hears thats how close we live, so my mum says to me: "Ring Auntie Sharon, to ask about milk" To which I responded by standing at the gable end of my house and shouting we needed milk, and lo and behold my auntie turns up within 6.7 seconds withs some milk.
My Dad, however lost something different thatn his sanity (although my mother never had any) he instead lost his hair. This is a great laugh for me as I have a big head of hair, but inevitably in 30 years time I'll be the one with a combover.
And finally, this applies to everyone in my family over 18 saying goodbye takes a good 50 years. This is because of the impulse to say goodbye every time the other one says it, so when a relative visits our house, the word goodbye is mentioned about 50,000000 times. I'm not looking forward to thirty thats for sure.
My Mother, whose age is a number unkown to humans, seems to be obbsessed with ringing people, over every little thing, like for example, last week my mum needed to lend some milk, now we live near an auntie of mine, in fact I say near, let's just say if we shout she hears thats how close we live, so my mum says to me: "Ring Auntie Sharon, to ask about milk" To which I responded by standing at the gable end of my house and shouting we needed milk, and lo and behold my auntie turns up within 6.7 seconds withs some milk.
My Dad, however lost something different thatn his sanity (although my mother never had any) he instead lost his hair. This is a great laugh for me as I have a big head of hair, but inevitably in 30 years time I'll be the one with a combover.
And finally, this applies to everyone in my family over 18 saying goodbye takes a good 50 years. This is because of the impulse to say goodbye every time the other one says it, so when a relative visits our house, the word goodbye is mentioned about 50,000000 times. I'm not looking forward to thirty thats for sure.
Saturday, 8 January 2011
Prisons, Is it Worth Being Raped In The Showers?
More reports of overcrowded prison system from Overlord Cameron and his chambermaid Clegg. Well here's an idea for our all-knowing (Ha! we'll be lucky) leader, Build more prisons rather than piss and moan to us.
Then there's the idea of crime, some people actually want to go into prison, these people are either very, very psycotic or very, very gay. We know it all goes on: "Oh dear, I dropped the soap, accedentally on purpose, someone rape me!" Then another one will say "Ok" Then all of a sudden you have a mass gangbang in the showers.
I often wonder why people turn to that kind of thing after being caught swapping their child for a taco, many people say it's because they miss human compassion, maybe but no. It's because they've seen that our deputy and prime minister are at it so they might as well try it.
Then there's the idea of crime, some people actually want to go into prison, these people are either very, very psycotic or very, very gay. We know it all goes on: "Oh dear, I dropped the soap, accedentally on purpose, someone rape me!" Then another one will say "Ok" Then all of a sudden you have a mass gangbang in the showers.
I often wonder why people turn to that kind of thing after being caught swapping their child for a taco, many people say it's because they miss human compassion, maybe but no. It's because they've seen that our deputy and prime minister are at it so they might as well try it.
Sunday, 2 January 2011
I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK MWAHHHHHH!!
And so, I'm back, did you miss me? I'll take that as a no then.
I've only been gone two months and the worlds in a mess (and by that I mean the coalition). However there's been one thing that I just can't moan about. Christmas.
Yes, like every year we were encouraged to over-spend on relatives you don't see year-in, year-out. But despite this it is still *cough* a happy time.
So this was an introduction to the new years Ken I'll be back next Saturday with another moan.
Oh, and by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've only been gone two months and the worlds in a mess (and by that I mean the coalition). However there's been one thing that I just can't moan about. Christmas.
Yes, like every year we were encouraged to over-spend on relatives you don't see year-in, year-out. But despite this it is still *cough* a happy time.
So this was an introduction to the new years Ken I'll be back next Saturday with another moan.
Oh, and by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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